I’m baaccccckk! Rebecca G., slipping my blogger gloves back on to bring you the highlights of this past Wednesday night. If you weren’t at Policy for District Karaoke Week Nine: The Semifinals, then you missed the most #EPIC night of the season to date. Performers stepped the competition up to an unprecedented level of flare. And with the season’s scores brought back down to zero, “anything goes” developed a brand new meaning. Bennett H. (The More We Drink) burst from the round one starting gate and gave us a catchy rendition of MIKA’s “Grace Kelly.” In fact, I’m still humming it today. Brian N. (Imma Let you Finish) belted out an emotional “One Song Glory,” which served as a bittersweet reminder that the landmark we’ve stamped on D.C. history is coming to a close (sad face).
Now, since I’ve assumed the privilege of conveying the splendiferous (yes! a reason to finally use that word!) performances of Week Nine, I normally wouldn’t mention myself, but…I mean, I don’t think anyone could have missed me. Representing my team, Hide Yer Pitch, I attempted P!nk’s “Raise Your Glass.” In my humble opinion, the best part of it was being able to dye my hair PINK. And I didn’t fall over stomping around in five-inch wedge heels. For this major anti-klutz accomplishment, I want a cookie (we’ll get to that later).
It was round two where things got real, real fast. After this, I think Policy can officially tout the establishment as a “celebrity hotspot.” When Andrew B. (The More We Drink) kicked off the round, I did a double take to make sure Adam Levine hadn’t actually graced us with his presence to sing the hit, “Sunday Morning” (Commissioner’s Note: Tweet an invitation to him at @AdamLevine today!). Andrew B.’s performance should have been a clue that someone needed to roll out the red carpet for the remaining acts, because the embodiment of sex, drugs and rock & roll — Ziggy Stardust…uh, I mean Bradford F. (Hide Yer Pitch) — strolled to the front, grabbed the mic and cried “Suffragette City!” to a longing crowd. I mean, not only did Bradford F. sport the red shag and facial lightning bolt, but, to quote Mr. F himself, “real men wear…Gold. Lamè . Leggings.” (drops mic). Fun fact: the Ziggy lightning bolt was actually inspired by the design on a rice cooker—who knew?
Speaking of rice, the only reason I could ever imagine a certain blue fuzzy Sesame Street guy noming on an anything as healthy as rice, is if it had the word “cake” attached. That’s right. Ellen P. (Lush Wagon), merrily grumbled out the eponymous “C is for Cookie” song and imbued life into one of children’s favorite “Sesame Street” characters — Cookie Monster (who made a mess of his rice cake on the floor, but he is a monster and these things are allowed). Ellen’s enormous creativity (seriously, I’m in awe) secured her the second highest score of the night and her second prize of the season – two tickets to the Atlas Performing Arts Center (I’m still waiting on that cookie)…..The highest score of the night belonged to Julie M. (Tone Thugs) who, unlike in Week Seven, blessedly did NOT use a shake weight to the highest score of the night with “You Shook Me All Night Long.” She wins two tickets to the 9:30 Club to see Def Leppard and Poison with Lita Ford at Merriweather Post Pavilion.
Ding ding! Round three! I couldn’t decide who had the sweetest dance moves: The More We Drink or Imma Let you Finish? The latter busted out the Backstreet Boys’ “Larger Than Life,” and moved together perfectly n’sync (ha! Get it?? Haha…..heh.). The More We Drink sang and moved in unison to Bell Biv Devoe’s “Poison” — impressively singing without lyrics! Hide Yer Pitch oozed soul posing as “Glady’s Knight & the Pips.” At this point, I almost forgot I was at a karaoke competition and not at a concert! Next, I heard someone start jamming along with a tambourine—how adroit! Turned out to be a member of Lush Wagon, who transported us to the Ptolemaic dynasty with “Walk Like An Egyptian” — nice job on those tunics and crowns!
We all waited with bated breath to hear the evening’s standings; with more than 110 voters in attendance, the night could belong to anyone! Now, as noted in the DK playoff rules, the three winners from the semifinal rounds will compete for first, second and third place (same idea for fourth, fifth and sixth place). Competing to place in one of the top three spots are (drum roll): Imma Let You Finish, Lush Wagon and The More We Drink! Congratulations! Competing for fourth, fifth and sixth place are Tone Thugs, Hide Yer Pitch and Sons of Pitches.
This week was so extraordinary, I’d put money down that next week is going to knock your bobby socks off! What a show! What a first season. Head to Policy, Wednesday, April 11, 7:00pm for Finals Week and the after-season party. Be there or be square.