It all came down to this one night. Teams tuned their guitars, adjusted their robot heads, teased their hair and warmed up their vocal chords for the Wednesday Division Finals of District Karaoke— an epic battle for supremacy between I’mma Let You Finish, Pitch, Please!, and 99 Problems But a Pitch Ain’t One. The night was also a slightly less epic battle for the bottom three teams: The Artists Formerly Known as Lush Wagon, The Fat Bottomed Girls and the Hipster Grifters. The clock struck 7 and the fight was on.
The Hipster Grifters began the night with Liz C. crooning her way through Michael Buble’s “I Just Haven’t Met You Yet.” Finally out of the ankle cast, she twirled around happily performing the bubbly (heh) love song. Next up was Omar P. with Styx’s “Mr. Roboto.” Domo arigato to Omar P. for making himself a robot head for the performance – it was a nice touch. Ramon from Lush Wagon stepped up his game by actually playing the guitar while singing the Violent Femmes’ “Blister in the Sun.”
Next up were the three top seeded teams: DJ S. from 99 Problems wore his best Warblers blazer and channeled Glee while singing Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” to his date for the night — a well-dressed blow up doll. Pitch, Please! kept the Perry theme going, as Vasu A. borrowed a wedding dress to sing “Hot N’ Cold” to a broom. Nice wig, Vasu A. Finishing out the round, Michael B. from I’mma Let You Finish decided to go old school, and brought his powerhouse vocal chords to Otis Redding’s “Try a Little Tenderness.” Michael B. also brought his great reflexes to avoid all those shoes thrown at the end of end of his performance.
After Classic and Jesse B gave us 10 minutes to refill our drinks and go pee, it was time for round two. Erin K. from Hipster Grifters put on her sunglasses and didn’t give a damn about what the crowd thought and power through a killer rendition of Meredith Brook’s “Bitch.” Lauren H. from The Fat Bottomed Girls also didn’t care about her bad reputation – but did care about her hair in that sick beehive – as she swaggered and drank her way through Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab.” The best, or at least the most, hair of the night, should go to Ellen P. from Lush Wagon. Wearing her best suit, Ellen P. looked the part for “Werewolves of London” and had the crowd howling for more.
First up of the top three teams was Colleen B. from 99 Problems who shrugged on some leather and sang “I’m the Only One” by Melissa Ethridge. She’s the only one who could sing it that well, I’m sure. Next up was Tika S., whose seductive rendition of “Genie in a Bottle” rubbed everyone the right way. To finish out the round, I’mma Let You Finish again did a throwback with Brian N. singing “Runaround Sue,” who was backed up by the rest of the bar.
All that competition was exhausting, but the night wasn’t over. After a break for the “Cupid Shuffle,” it was time for the big finale: the group rounds.
Bottom seeded group Hipster Grifters decided to show off their biggest talent —a great sense of humor. They owned up to their standing, borrowed a paper bag and sang Beck’s “Loser.” Next up was The Fat Bottomed Girls with “We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions,” complete with homemade medals, improvised disco lights and a solid mustache. My personal favorite of the night was Lush Wagon, who vanquished the ghosts and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Woman (nice outfit, Mel C.!) in a group performance of Ray Park Jr.’s “Ghostbusters.”
The top three were in it to win it and it showed: first up was 99 Problems with “Love Shack.” They actually had a car as big as a whale and got the whole crowd bang, bang, banging on the door. Keeping up with the love theme, Pitch, Please! held a sexual harassment training session that broke into Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” and ended with healthy amount of stripping. To finish out the round, I’mma Let You Finish brought out their smoothest moves for Usher’s “DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love Again.” To be honest, this whole season has made me fall in love with karaoke again. I can’t wait to see what the three Wednesday teams will do at the City-Wide Finals and I can’t wait to see who the wild card will be.
[DK Note: The three Wednesday teams going to the City-Wide Finals are: 99 Problems But Pitch Ain’t One (1st); I’mma Let You Finish…the TEAL, not blue team (2nd); and Pitch, Please! (3rd and Wildcard Winner). To round out the rest of the standings we have: TAFKA: Lush Wagon (4th); The Fat Bottomed Girls (5th) and Hipster Grifters (6th). Congrats to all our Wednesdays @ Policy teams for singing it, bringing it and schwinging these past 10 weeks.]
^Alex P. (Hipster Grifters)